This is the time of year when we gather around tables graced with perfectly browned Thanksgiving turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy and we give thanks. We give thanks for our health and our families. We give thanks for the partner who has arrived or is in route. We give thanks for the abundance we have amassed or the opportunities that have presented themselves to us. We give thanks for each other. And, there is so much more for which I feel grateful.
Now don’t get me wrong; perhaps even at one level higher in priority than that of my next breath, are my children and grandchildren. But, when I think of all I am grateful for, some things different, harder to see, bring tears to my eyes and catch my breath. Perhaps it is a matter of age- perhaps a matter of awakening – perhaps it just is.
I am thankful for the reality that even though I have been single for quite some time, I fall often into the arms of my beloved. I often rest in the knowing that some energy, powerful and compassionate, is caring for me in ways I am not even able to understand at times. Growing up with an alcoholic mother and an abusive father makes me so grateful that this Presence is always covering my back, standing on my side, taking care of me with generosity of spirit, compassion and understanding. I am thankful that It is so much a part of me that I am nearly unable to distinguish much of a separation any longer. I am grateful that I have the most sacred relationship with God, the Universe, All That Is – (what ever you want to call it) that at times feels as if I could reach out and stroke the cheek of my Beloved with the same tenderness with which It holds me. We talk. We love. We accept each other in sheer delight.
I am so grateful for having choices – for the choices I have made. With whom shall I dance? What do I want the quality of my life to be? Who do I want to be when I grow up? In the most precious places of not knowing, I get to choose. And, because I am awake I get to choose only that which befits me, makes me more and challenge the fiber of my character and the strength of my spirit. I alone am designing my life, either consciously or unconsciously and that is, as well, yet another choice for which I am grateful. I am so thankful that my choices no longer comes from need but rather from a place of having so much in my life that I cannot hold it all and want to share. Free will is an immense blessing that we often take for granted.
I am grateful that I have stopped taking detours away from my own power – that I no longer need to pretend that I don’t have the answers. I am grateful that an unimaginably wise energy designed me is such a way that I could find myself and discover the truth of who I am through my own choices rather than ones inflicted on me.
I am grateful that I have learned to listen when the Universe speaks. I have discovered the immeasurable value of good friends and spiritual family, people who speak truth, love generously and are making every effort to live authentically. I am delighted that I am no longer willing to leave myself to be what someone else needs me to be. I am thankful that I leave places and people who are invested in chaos and drama and I no longer have a need or longing to stay.
I am grateful that I have come to a place in my life where I am aware that I am part of a grand intelligence in the universe and that every contribution I make that is loving is of value. I am grateful for the chance to sit here writing words on a page that some of you will hear with your heart and which will unite us with out ever having met face to face.
I am grateful for every moment of this life, every breath I take, every challenge I create and every opportunity I am given to love someone. I wish you a moment this Thanksgiving to reflect on your own unseen blessings. I hope they cause a smile to gently appear on your face and a warm and honest moment of love to fill your heart.
© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2013