Sometimes when the night is still, a wee voice inside who once believed that the Universe or God was a trickster, whispers, What if there is only this? A question I asked very often in the midst of my childhood, beer can filled life? My in-breath catches. With a longer sigh, I wonder what would I do differently? Would I be less concerned about my “waking up”? Would I be more satisfied to sit with those who refuse to spiritually dive deeper than a dime?
Would I fill my mind with chatter of acquisitions, TV shows or other people’s shortcomings? Would I plan indiscretions? Would I become a thief, a scoundrel or rogue? Would I be invested in controlling the behavior or the path of others? Probably not. Clearly none of that would feel good or satisfy me. It would not move me toward love in any way. But, might I slow down to watch a sunset, steal a kiss or go dancing? Would I share every longing, vision and breath of my beloved? Would I take the time to pause and be more tender, more understanding in the face of human frailty? Would I stop in awe more times to honor daring and bravery? Would I take longer to swallow Cadbury Carmello? Hmmm.
Why should I do the right thing? She didn’t. Why should I take the first step? He didn’t? Why should I have an open heart? They don’t. Why should I be peaceful? No one else is? Why should I be the one who creates more love in this relationship? She doesn’t. Because your journey on this planet is not about anyone else. It’s about you!
Too often, we feel that if we move to the open hearted, soft belly, receptive mind, it is the same as whimping out, giving up or giving in. We might even think that standing in our own integrity means condoning the bad behavior of the other person. It’s does not mean that. It’s about taking personal responsibility and being accountable for the quality of your own life and the state of your own soul. What anyone else does with his or her life is not our business.
Taking the higher road is an act of love for oneself. It results in a greater level of self-esteem and more trust. It says to the kid inside I have the ability to stand up on our side. You are safe with me. Acting out of integrity or our own inner wisdom give us a personal sense of being more aligned with the truth of who we are and therefore a feeling of greater power in the world. How many times have you walked away from a situation or a person and thought I wish I had done that better. I know how I should and wanted to respond but I didn’t. I am disappointed in myself.
There is a golden thread that is at the very foundation of our effort to bring the planet, our lives and relationships into alignment. That most important ingredient is our personal integrity. Integrity allows us to connect deeper, move into intimacy with each other and honor each person’s uniqueness. Without a personal level of integrity, a willingness to examine our own motives, we can’t grow. Instead we stand around blaming, shaming, controlling or projecting onto others all of our own unhealed issues.
The new consciousness being birthed on the planet puts our personal integrity at the very core of this birthing process. We can’t wait for the next guy to go first. We can’t wait for the next person to stop the fighting. We can’t wait until someone else stops the name-calling or the abuse. These things must be stopped in each of us or they will never be stopped in the world. Once you awaken to this reality there is no way to be bored or find yourself asking Is this all there is. If you are connected to yourself and life, this is a never-ending exercise in becoming. Every day and every person you meet presents a new opportunity for YOU to become your highest and best self. Get connected to your process. Get connected to your life. Get connected to your loved ones. Get in the game. The stakes are getting higher. So are the rewards.
© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2008