True spirituality comes in as many forms as there are people. If you want to see Spirit in color, you look at a flower. If you want to see Spirit in flight, look at a bird. If you want to see Spirit with power, you stand beside the ocean. Your greatest spirituality can be nestled in a desire for soul deep connecting with your beloved. We all perceive Divine energy in different ways. The more conscious you are, the more you are able to see Divine energy in all things – even in a partner who believes differently than you do. In fact, a person who professes no belief in God at all may still be very spiritual because he or she is highly principled or is someone who loves and respects the inherent beauty of the earth.
Religious leaders and masters who are truly evolved understand there are threads of truth in every belief system and each of us gets to choose the one to which we most relate for ourselves. Truly evolved, spiritual people don’t judge each other’s beliefs. Neither do they attempt to control each other by recruiting, shaming or attempting to frighten others into believing their way. When we are afraid, we want those around us to believe as we do. After all, we think, if you believe as I do, then I must be right! If you believe differently than I do, then perhaps I am wrong. Not necessarily.
In a relationship where two people believe differently there are great opportunities to learn about ones self. Partners get to learn about your level of tolerance for difference and your level of safety with letting each other be whomever he or she is, and believe however he or she wants to believe. While standing in the differences, you have an opportunity to open your heart and experience the joy or grace that your partner may be experiencing from his or her perspective or belief system.
It could be great fun to take turns in sharing these experiences and knowledge. I know a number of couples that celebrate the Winter solstice with both Hanukkah candelabrum or menorah and a Christmas tree. When your love for someone is sincere and not based upon your need for sameness, you find that it is easy to support your partner in activities that are soul enriching because they bring your partner closer to the Divine. It doesn’t really matter what they are because you still benefit from this character building belief system.
If you are with someone who professes no belief in religion or spirituality, you still have a place for growth. Emmet Fox in THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT says,” The quickest way to spread your truth to those you love is by living it yourself. The most important commitment is the one you make to your own soul’s evolvement. Therefore, as you continue to walk your path, each step you take toward enriching your own relationship with your spirituality will result in deepening your relationship with your partner.
Relationships are inherently a classroom for the work of the soul. In the space between where two people meet, in the center of difference, there is an opportunity for learning a great deal about yourself. Although you may truly long for your partner to join you in the special ways you worship or practice your faith, not having them do so allows for the opportunity to let your self connect deeply with others who share your faith. It gives you a chance to broaden your support group and test your willingness to be vulnerable and connected at a soul level with someone with whom you are not in an intimate relationship. Too often we expect that our partner should be the sole source for all of our support and learning. In this circumstance where you must learn to reach out beyond your mate relationship, you may find the world is filled with others who can enrich your life and align with you in your beliefs.
Think about what a gift you will give yourself and your partner when you are able to look across the table at your mate, beyond the form of their belief system or lack of it, and see the spiritual nature and true essence of your beloved. There is a spirit in there and when you are able to connect to it, the form it takes will become irrelevant. Love is all that is left and that is the highest form of spirituality.
© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2013